Saturday, March 13, 2010

When I told my therapist about Raul, he sighed heavily. "Zelda, oh's still 'Zelda' isn't it? NO, I refuse to call you Sadie! All right, all right! SADIE!
So, you remember the last time we talked and you told me you were not going to expand your 'fuckable-age-range' again? I thought we had agreed that you should not be with any men less than half-your-age-plus-5. Raul is only 25! I'm not sure exactly how old you are, but I'm pretty darned sure you're over 40!
Well sure, I'd like to fuck someone who's only 25 years old, but I wouldn't! Wait a minute! Who's analyzing whom here?
Okay - back to Raul. Why did you go out with him? No, I don't want to see the photos you took of him! Oh geez, all right! (pause) Okay, I suppose he is gorgeous, but there are many gorgeous young men out there. You're not going to fuck all of them, are you?
Oh...I see. When you're 'Zelda' you keep your legs together, but when you're Sadie, all bets are off. Well, Zelda - note the emphasis, please - I think you'd better start settling down again. Stop all this travel to exotic places, places with all those muscular, brown-skinned men walking around wearing tiny swim trunks. Next time you want to take a vacation, try the Poconos! There's a nice Holiday Inn there, and the employees are all flabby, white guys who won't bring out the 'Sadie' in you. You can go swimming in a nice, warm swimming pool and then take a walk around the parking lot. There will probably be lots of friendly, older people there - you know...people your age - and you could drum up a game of pinochle after dinner.
Zelda - wait! Don't cry! Where are you going? Your hour isn't up!"


Cody Taylor said...

Awesome post. Your characters jump, also like the back and forth and the vacation in the Poconos a place filled with flabby and old white people.

darkblack said...

Ah, the old 'act your age' therapeutic gambit, eh?
Fiendishly clever, those analysts.


Cat said...

I want to be Sadie I think when I get old. Erm. Older I suppose!

Utah Savage said...

I've written you a little thank you note.

Utah Savage said...

And I say, fire the shrink!

Eric said...

Will Sadie do a guest post on your blog? I want to spend some time with her also. ;)

Breezmister said...

Now Don't Be Knocking those flabby white guys up there in the Poconos. We have read all of those tips and tricks from Xavier Hollander in Penthouse, we just need to practice more ;)

Linda said...

Love it. The words were good, too ;^)

I do like this Sadie chick... very much. Peace, Linda

Anonymous said...

"Z" you have such a knack for just the right thing to say. The therapist is jealous.

BeckEye said...

I would like a 25-year-old, please.

Found you via Grant Miller. Your comment on his Obama post cracked me up.

carlos de la parra said...

Marvelous story.Oozing talent.
I knew you had it in you.Fly on upwards.