Saturday, December 11, 2010

Red, White and Blue Christmas

by Harry Sanderford and Zelda Martin
Archie couldn't help but regret all the years he'd wasted competing for Veronica's affections with arch-rival Reggie, only to have her drop them both for Jughead, when his stack-pizzas-like-pancakes, eat burgers-by-the-platterful, wear-a-funny-hat and stay "Skinny Like Me" program went from small time scam to publicly traded empire. And now, this unexpected sighting of Betty on the mall Santa's lap, laughing and kissing his rosy cheek, the Rockwell embodiment of the Christmas Spirit, only served to deepen the shade of Archie's holiday blues.
Little did he know that Betty was, at that very moment, asking jolly old Santa to bring her a bottle of "Love Potion Number Nine" for Christmas, just so she could use it to attract her secret love, the very same hunky, freckle-faced redhead, Archie.
As Archie stood watching, he saw Betty's face suddenly turn white, then red, while that naughty Santa, so lively and quick, looked even jollier than he had been before. A little too damn jolly, Archie thought, and seizing his big chance to win Betty's love, he rushed to her rescue, just as Betty jumped off of Santa's lap and slapped that cheeky old elf hard, right across his merry old dimples.
Betty wheeled around, steaming mad, and ran right into Archie's open arms, where, wouldn't you know, the frown on Betty's face cheered up, the rain cloud over Archie's head cleared up, and it comes...wait for it...was replaced by one of those great big damn cartoon hearts!

Merry Christmas, everyone!


Steve Green said...

Ah, bless, things turned out okay in the end. :D

As for Santa, who knows what kind of person is hiding behind that beard and big suit?

John Wiswell said...

I love those cartoon hearts! I wish there was an option to turn them on in reality. Thanks, Harry and Z!

Crybbe666 said...

"...slapped that cheeky old elf hard, right across his merry old dimples."
Haven't we all wanted to do that at some stage??

Thanks for the laugh, you two. Merry Christmas to you both :)

Jeanette Cheezum said...

Loved it. Needed a laugh.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I feel a bit sorry for Santa. Always playing Cupid and never getting laid himself.

Jodi MacArthur said...

LOL. You two are too cute. I loved those comics growing up. Encore!