Monday, November 19, 2007




True or False?



What difference does it make? If I tell a story, and claim it's true, but only I could know for sure, it doesn't matter whether it's true or not. For example, if I tell you that I witnessed a murder when I was a child, but I don't name names, you would have no way of disproving my claim, and no reason to try. I have not incriminated anyone, and it could explain some of my odd behaviour as an adult. But if I told you that yesterday I witnessed my neighbor killing his wife, but today his wife is outside raking leaves and looking quite healthy and unscathed, my story could have any number of unfortunate consequences; not the least of which would be you suspecting that I have gone over the edge.

So...I have decided to re-write some of my life's stories, and give them happier endings than they had in the first telling. Then I will repeat those new, improved stories to myself, over and over, until they, effectively, become true. I'll start with my childhood. Mama didn't abandon my sisters and me when we were little; she stayed with Daddy and we had an idyllic childhood. The plastic surgery on my harelip was a big success, and I looked "normal," and kids didn't make fun of me any more. When I was sixteen and went for a walk with a neighbor boy and he lured me into the woods, where four of his friends were waiting, they didn't rape me, because I fought like a tigress and they ran away like frightened rabbits.

I'm feeling better already! And it doesn't matter whether these renditions are technically "true" or not. Mama and Daddy are dead. My sisters will never read my story. My schoolmates are scattered and would not remember me anyway. And those five boys are burning in hell, I hope. Oops, I'm getting away from the mission. THEY DIDN'T RAPE ME, BECAUSE I FOUGHT LIKE A TIGRESS AND THEY RAN AWAY LIKE FRIGHTENED RABBITS! That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Tomorrow I'll perform some "plastic surgery" on some other unpleasant "falsehoods" and convert them to pleasant "truths."

6 comments:

~Miss Smack said...

I was sitting here trying to think of something supportive to write and everything sounded wrong... so I'm just gonna say that I like you, alot.

Email me sometime. I get emails from boys which are boring. I want to hear from you.

Madam Z said...

Thank you, miss smack. Your comment *is* supportive, and I appreciate it. I tried to email you, but it came back as "undeliverable." Maybe those "boys" had your line overloaded!

Baby Island said...

You are a TIGRESS, hear you roar. I saw your writing on 6S and linked to your blog. Hard truths there lady.

But I believe. :)

electro-kevin said...

So I'm boring am I, Smacky-babes ???

Harrumph !

;-)

~Miss Smack said...

miss.smack@gmail.com

Everyone's boring cept you, EK :)

DCup said...

Madam Z - I like your idea of adopting our own endings. You're still here. That's testiment to your spirit.

Keep writing. Please.