Saturday, February 28, 2009

"Madam Z," I tell myself, from time to time, "you must learn to acknowledge your mistakes and move on."
But, I don't listen to myself. I try to salvage the unsalvagable. "But I spent so much time - money - effort on it! I can't let it go to waste!"
"Foolish woman! It's better to let it go; forget about it - put it in the garbage and try again another day. If you're going to eat/do something that's not good for you, at least be damned sure it tastes/feels good."
The most recent battle is still being waged. The subject of the dispute is a batch of truffles. Why, you may ask, would someone try to make her own truffles, when she could get a perfectly good bag of ready-made truffles at the corner store for 3 or 4 bucks? That is a legitimate and worthy question. Why indeed? Temporary insanity cannot be ruled out.
It gets worse. I had a perfectly good bag of Ghirardelli milk chocolate chips in the cupboard, that I have been chipping away at for several days, a tiny handful now and then, when I must have something sweet. They are heavenly. I also had a couple ounces of dark chocolate which isn't anywhere near as good, but is purportedly "good for you." THEN! I bought a can of sweetened condensed milk, for some goddamned reason, which I don't even remember, and it had a recipe on the label for homemade truffles. I was electrified by this! I didn't even know ordinary people could make truffles! They seem too exotic to be made at home, at least at my home. The recipe was deceptively simple: 1 can condensed milk, 18 ounces of semi-sweet chocolate chips and 1 tablespoon of vanilla. Put milk in saucepan, add chips, heat till chocolate is melted, add vanilla, and refrigerate till firm. Roll into balls and cover with some kind of coating. (I completely ignored this last step, since it's the inside that I was interested in.)
Okay. I didn't have 18 oz of semi-sweet chocolate chips, but I had those milk chocolate chips and a couple oz of that dark chocolate, so that should work, shouldn't it? SHOULDN'T IT? In case you're wondering, the answer is NO. Well, maybe it SHOULD'VE worked, but it DIDN'T. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't particularly good. It wasn't anywhere near as good as the plain goddamned chocolate chips were! And I used up about $6 worth of ingredients making the stupid stuff! So I stuck it back in the refrigerator, hoping it would taste better the next day.
It didn't. My self told myself to just throw the shit away. I certainly don't need the calories, anyway. But NO! I had a new plan! Melt the ill-fated concoction again and add a bunch of peanut butter to it! That'll show my smartass Self!


Oh man!!! It is now resting peacefully in the compost heap.




7 comments:

Bill Stankus said...

Sounds like cooking after a few whiskey sours. As if I know what THAT'S like!

Lisa said...

Even the E for effort doesn't make it taste good, does it?

Dang, I hate to think of those wasted chocolate chips!

You crack me up, you do know that, right?

fingers said...

Truffles are one of those things that are just easier (and ultimately cheaper) to let someone else make.
Like power stations...

Connor said...

mmmmmmmm. chocolate...

Randal Graves said...

I can't believe you forgot the human flesh. Where do you think the deliciousness comes from? The chocolate?

Madam Z said...

Bill: SOUR WHISKEY?!? WTF? Sounds like something my Gramps cooked up during Prohibition.

Lisa: Yes, I "do know that," and it makes the loss of the chocolate chips all worthwhile. :)

fingers: Actually, I had more success building my own power station...

Connor: mmmmmmmmmmmm. Whiskey sours...

Randal: mmmmmmmmm. Human flesh...

Layla said...

Brave you for making truffles!!
- & oh gosh, sorry to hear about it!! :)

Well, at least you experimented!!

I looked at those YouTube videos today too, and they DID sound amazingly simple!! (cream was mentioned instead of milk though, and in some cases also butter-?!)

am still tempted to make my own chocolate, we'll see how it goes.. :)
/if I ever find a reliable-enough-looking recipe-??!/