Friday, April 20, 2012

Flibberty-jibbet

I've probably lost all my followers by now, so I can write any damn thing I want.  And what I want to do is to complain.  I want to bitch and moan.  I'm bored.  I'm lonely.  I'm fucking HORNY!  I was listening to some slow, grinding, sexy music tonight that had me climbing the walls.  I don't like my life.  I don't HATE my life, I just don't like it.  And don't tell me (all you people out there who are not reading this) that I have no business complaining, because at least I don't live in god-forsaken Africa or Afghanistan or some other miserable hell hole where people are killing each other righ and left and they're starving and disease-ridden and being eaten alive by lions and tigers and bears, oh boy.  I KNOW THAT, for heaven's sake!  But at least they're not BORED!  And anyway, I'm not comparing myself to anyone else.  I am entirely self-absorbed and selfish.  And my selfish self would like something interesting to happen.  Something that would feel really good and be lots of fun, but wouldn't get me in trouble.  Of course, the first part of that sentence and the last part are mutually exclusive.  Shit.

9 comments:

Bill said...

Well, you could buy a motorcycle .... or a unicycle. Or get a night shift job at an urban 7-11. Or go to confession and make up weird stories to tell the priest. Play video games? Join a square dance club? Bingo? Repost your earliest blogs and see what happens?

Gorilla Bananas said...

Hello Madam Z. My life became a lot less boring after reading this posts! I would happily swap some of my interest for your boredom if that were possible. It's lovely to see the word "flibberty-jibbet". I wonder if the younger generation have heard of it.

Randal Graves said...

Life is supposed to be boring. Who told you otherwise?

Madam Z said...

Bill, thanks for the intriguing suggestions. Maybe I could take the priest for a ride on my Harley, while I tell him about what happened when I invited my square dance club to perform at the urban 7-11. Hmmmm...I like it!

Madam Z said...

Dear Mr. Bananas: Please send me some of your "interest" and I will immediately ship you some of my boredom. If that doesn't suit you, I will send you some flibberty, and you can send me some jibbits. I would think of you, each time I fondled them.

Madam Z said...

Randall, that's what my mom told me, but I always assumed she was wrong, since she was wrong about virtually everything else.

Harry said...

Take the 7-11 nightshift job, (excellent idea Bill) make fortified wine margaritas in the slurpee machine, set up a free hotdog, nachos and prophylactic buffet and proceed to party till dawn with the patrons patrolling the Southland for jerky and smokes in the wee hours following last call.

Then write about it.
:)

Connor said...

"Something that would feel really good and be lots of fun, but wouldn't get me in trouble"
Well im not sure you can do both..lol..hope you've cured your boredom and solved your 'problem'... ;)

Connor said...
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