I've been tagged by Politits ! How cool is that? Answer: Very! I'm supposed to tell you seven LIES about myself. How hard is that? Answer: Not very!
1. I'm a tall, willowy Amazon with flame-red hair and jade-green eyes.
2. I love George W. Bush with all my heart and soul and not only that, when someone calls out to me, "Who's your daddy?" I shout back, with tears of joy in my eyes, "DICK CHENEY!"
3. Today, in a fit of religious fervor, I entered a nearby church, ripped off all of my clothes, prostrated myself on the alter, and shouted, "Take me Jesus!" Unfortunately, it turned out that today, being Saturday, there were no services and I interrupted the Lord's Undercover Sex Talk, but it turned out okay anyway.
4. I have decided that I don't give a flying fuck about getting fat, so I cancelled my membership at the gym and ate four sausage and black olive pizzas and two pounds of Ghirardelli chocolates. And that was just for breakfast!
5. I cleaned the entire house today, including washing all the windows, inside and out, waxed all the hardwood floors, took the venetian blinds down and washed every slat, snaked out all the drains, took the covers off all the ceiling lights and emptied out all the dead flies and moths, changed the shelf paper in all the cupboards and drawers, dusted every single surface - even the tops of the books on the shelves, polished all the brass fixtures, cleaned the oven and the refrigerator (even the freezer!), vacuumed the upholstery, brushed and flossed my teeth and douched! And that was BEFORE BREAKFAST!
6. I believe that men are vastly superior to women in every way and we women should always be subservient and respectful, expecting nothing in return, but show our undying gratitude for any small favor they may bestow upon us.
7. I am completely uninterested in anything related to sex, have no desire to engage in sexual activity, feel no interest in the unclothed, muscular, well-hung, male body, no matter how seductive his glances or how strong his hands or deft his tongue or....wait...I'm getting distracted...