Saturday, December 29, 2007

I've been tagged by Politits ! How cool is that? Answer: Very! I'm supposed to tell you seven LIES about myself. How hard is that? Answer: Not very!



1. I'm a tall, willowy Amazon with flame-red hair and jade-green eyes.




2. I love George W. Bush with all my heart and soul and not only that, when someone calls out to me, "Who's your daddy?" I shout back, with tears of joy in my eyes, "DICK CHENEY!"

3. Today, in a fit of religious fervor, I entered a nearby church, ripped off all of my clothes, prostrated myself on the alter, and shouted, "Take me Jesus!" Unfortunately, it turned out that today, being Saturday, there were no services and I interrupted the Lord's Undercover Sex Talk, but it turned out okay anyway.
4. I have decided that I don't give a flying fuck about getting fat, so I cancelled my membership at the gym and ate four sausage and black olive pizzas and two pounds of Ghirardelli chocolates. And that was just for breakfast!

5. I cleaned the entire house today, including washing all the windows, inside and out, waxed all the hardwood floors, took the venetian blinds down and washed every slat, snaked out all the drains, took the covers off all the ceiling lights and emptied out all the dead flies and moths, changed the shelf paper in all the cupboards and drawers, dusted every single surface - even the tops of the books on the shelves, polished all the brass fixtures, cleaned the oven and the refrigerator (even the freezer!), vacuumed the upholstery, brushed and flossed my teeth and douched! And that was BEFORE BREAKFAST!



6. I believe that men are vastly superior to women in every way and we women should always be subservient and respectful, expecting nothing in return, but show our undying gratitude for any small favor they may bestow upon us.


7. I am completely uninterested in anything related to sex, have no desire to engage in sexual activity, feel no interest in the unclothed, muscular, well-hung, male body, no matter how seductive his glances or how strong his hands or deft his tongue or....wait...I'm getting distracted...





9 comments:

Randal Graves said...

Reading all those lies makes me feel naughty. Must've been the dead flies and cleaning bit.

DCup said...

Yeah, Baby! You can lie to me any day.

Now, tell me about sitting on MathMan's lap. Was it good for you?

Don't you love it when he......well you know. We'll chat and compare!

Love your lies! Thanks for the laugh with my breakfast!

Mathman6293 said...

Z, I thought that lap thing was our secret. I don't think I could put it into words so the video will have to suffice. ... well this may not be the place to tell all (wink wink).

Madam Z said...

dcup: Was it good? Are you kidding me? "Good" is not strong enough a word!

MathMan, how could I possibly keep such a delightful secret?

Freida Bee said...

Oh Madam Z, where has your sexy blog been all my life?

Ms Smack said...

hahahahh LOVE IT!

Dr. Zaius said...

Thanks for the link! Great rant.

Madam Z said...

FB, MS and DZ: Thank you for the kind words. I am pleased that people whose writing *I* enjoy also enjoy mine!

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