Sunday, December 02, 2007

Ten (count 'em) Reasons I'd Like to Live a Few More Years

1. The house is a mess. There are surfaces that haven't been dusted in at least six months. I don't want to suffer from PMS (Post-Mortem Shame) if that fact were to be discovered by someone like...say...my MOTHER-IN-LAW!

2. I must find and destroy all my various diaries before I bite the dust (and, as I mentioned in #1, there is lots of dust in this house.)

3. I've been thinking of taking a Figure Drawing class at the local art school. I've heard that the male model resembles a stallion in some areas...


4. I want to make love to Hubby at least 1,000 more times. Let's see...3 x a week, that's 156 x a year, so I'd have to live at least 6.41 more years to reach that goal. Wait, let's make that "at least 2,000 more times."





5. I really, really want to learn how to play Texas Hold 'em.


6. I really, really want one of my shy short stories to send itself to some magazine and demand to get itself published, before I close the book on my mortal coil.

7. And then there are all those boxes of photos sitting on the shelf, next to the empty albums...
There's some small chance that my kids would be less likely to just dump the pictures, if they were all neatly mounted and labeled.

8. And Muscat grapes! I haven't eaten Muscat grapes since I was in Spain, in 1990. They were my favorite grapes when I lived in California, back in the good old days, when you could still find grapes with flavor. So...maybe I'll plant a Muscat vine this spring, if I can find one in some arcane catalogue.

9. I'd like to live long enought to see pot legalized. Que cree? Posible o no?








10. But most of all, I want to solve that Sweet Mystery of Life,


oh...and maybe get a pet chimpanzee






10 comments:

Josh said...

Everyone knows the meaning of life, the universe and everything is 42, so that is one item off your list.

I am happy to be your pet monkey too if that helps.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Muscat grapes are readily available here in TN in the summer. Owning a chimp, not a good idea. They will kick your ass when you least expect it.

Madam Z said...

Josh, I would love it if you could be my "pet monkey!" Thank you!

Dr, I'm heading for TN as soon as the grapes are ripe! And, not to worry about the chimp, I've got Josh now.

electro-kevin said...

Ahh, Josh - the secret of the universe is no longer 42 as Master Adams told us.

You seem to be in fine spirits today Madam Z. And reading this post certainly improved mine.

Thank you.

electro-kevin said...

The secret of the Universe is E8

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2007/11/14/scisurf114.xml&CMP=ILC-mostviewedbox

Ms Smack said...

There goes EK trying to be all clever and intellectual like. EK just flash us your pink sword and get on with it, will ya?

I like your list but I reckon you should HIDE your diaries - never throw them away. They'll give you great book fodder when you're 60 or 70 !

Writeprocrastinator said...

Happy Hannukah!

KELSO'S NUTS said...

cardplayer.com

electro-kevin said...

You's a baaad girl, Smackie

xxx muah !

Madam Z said...

...mmmmmmmmm...pink sword....