Friday, April 04, 2008


Lesson #4: Don't Think You're Going to Find the Love of Your Life in a Bar

I was lonely. I was horny. I wanted a man. But, I had no idea how to meet men in a safe, respectable way. I went to a tavern, one Saturday evening, ostensibly to listen to the band. I stood at the bar, drinking a beer and watching the band, hoping some nice man would ask me to dance. I tried to look relaxed and worldly, but I was uncomfortable and unsure of myself, and I'm sure it showed. No one in the entire place paid any attention to me, and I left after a half-hour or so. I went back to my apartment and cried myself to sleep.
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I decided to try again, at a different place...a fancier place, with a bigger dance floor and a better band. And this time, I decided to go with a friend of mine, so I wouldn't feel so alone and awkward. Cindy was also newly divorced and keenly interested in meeting someone. Unfortunately, Cindy was younger, better-looking and more self-confident than I was, so I was doomed from the start. We sat down at the crowded bar and ordered drinks. The only remaining empty seat was to my right. A nice-looking man, maybe in his late thirties, sat down. He looked past me, at Cindy, and spoke to her. She smiled at him, and answered. They talked back and forth, around me, until I finally stood up and said, "Here Cindy. Take this seat." And I moved over to where she had been. The happy couple then took to the dance floor, and I got up and went home.

To be continued...

15 comments:

fingers said...

And that's the problem, Z.
My people think your people are desperate, your people think my people are sleazy. How did it come to this ?? I don't know but it sure makes for some good blogging...:)
Relax darling, it won't happen just coz you get dressed up and decide to go out for an evening. Or two. But it will happen...

Montgomery Maxton said...

was this before everyone had a WWW before their name?

Dr. Zaius said...

How very sad. If it makes you feel any better, I can't even dance.

electro-kevin said...

Blogging must surely be a good way of making contact ?

By the sounds of things you are good looking so don't worry about that too much.

Distributorcap said...

our very own "One Life to Live"

Madam Z said...

fingers: "My people think your people are desperate, your people think my people are sleazy." That about sums it up, my friend.

MM: You are so smart! Yes, no "WWWs" anywhere.

dr. z: You are such a good doctor! Yes, I do feel better now.

e-k: This happened pre-blogging. But you're right, my moderate good looks won out in the end.

dc: Yep, I sold a lot of soap.

FranIAm said...

Oh Madam Z... Oh dear.

I know that story, or stories like it that I once lived. There is little consolation other than telling your story and then carry on.

Hang in there sister.

Forgive me if you can, I have not been here in a long time. I am a blog reading mess, but am organizing myself and you will now be in my reader.

fingers said...

Any chance of us hooking up for a quickie then, Desperado...

Catherine said...

I like reading your pages - just when I think that being single would be better I come here and get a new perspective of the reality of it. Cat

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I was the male you when it came to the bar scene. I had no confidence and I just assumed that all the women thought I was a nerd.

You know I love posts like this because it's through posts like this that we really get to know one another. I'm an even bigger fan of yours after reading these. Keep on rockin' my flame hair friend.

Madam Z said...

Franiam: Fortunately, that chapter of my life is in the past. And thank you for including my in your reader!

Fingers: Well,I am no longer an actual desperado, but maybe...

Cat: There's some good and some bad, but for me, the bad times outnumbered the good.

Dr. Monkey: Where were you when I needed you? I was LOOKING FOR a nerd! (And thanks for the compliment. I'm a fan of yours too.)

fingers said...

I'll need to see some photos first.
I'm not just selazy but shallow as well...

Madam Z said...

Fingers: Okay, here's the photo...it's my hand, with the middle finger standing at full attention!

Ms Smack said...

I've been that girl many many times in a bar, mate.

Great, raw and brave post!

fingers said...

Hey, we could be twins, separated at birth.
Let's do it, then go on '60 Minutes' and tell the world our story...