Thursday, August 07, 2008

Ants in My Pants and Everywhere Else!

Our kitchen has been invaded with ants! This has been going on for about two weeks and my patience and empathy (oh, the poor little things are just trying to survive, like everyone else) have been exhausted. At first, it was just some scouts, looking around the kitchen counter for any stray tidbits.
I tried to deter them with some kind of repellent traps, and made a valiant attempt to keep the "stray tidbits" to a minimum. Yeah...right. They seemed to be attracted to the repellent traps and neither hubby nor I are real good about wiping up every single crumb that may hit the sink or counter. Gradually, the scouts called in the main troops and we have been confronted with long lines of the little buggers, leading from the kitchen window to the counter, the stove and the pantry.
Yesterday, the line led to a plastic pint container of honey in the pantry. They managed to wedge themselves between the lid and the rim, in a solid mass of nasty, squirmy, little brown creatures. I showed them no mercy! I grabbed the container and held it under the faucet until I had dislodged and drowned every one of them. Then I took a sponge and obliterated the entire army of them. And...for the first time, I agreed to let hubby bring out the RAID can. We had a few glorious hours of antlessness, but this morning they were back, though not in full invasion mode. Once again, I attacked them with the sponge, but apparently some of them had developed a new survival strategy, namely...taking up residence on the enemy. I was not immediately aware of my uninvited guests. After cleaning the kitchen I left the house to go the gym. As I stood talking to my trainer, Sally, I felt a tickle on my belly. I scratched it and felt another, and another! With Sally looking at me incredulously, I lifted my shirt and saw several goddamned ants crawling on me.

Sally laughed and offered to spray me with Raid, but I declined, opting instead to go home, shower, and develop a new strategy.

So far, I have considered and rejected the following ideas:
1. Burn the house down.
2. Saturate the entire house and grounds with insecticide.
3. Learn to love the little devils.
I would welcome any suggestions from my dear friends in the Blogosphere.


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...


electro-kevin said...

I have an anecdote about being invaded by insects whilst on holiday once - I may write about it on my blog.

I expect there are products you can buy at the hardware shop for ellimination and that you need to find where the nest is. This shouldn't be too difficult a problem to deal with.

Randal Graves said...

I don't mind the occasional ant foraging party here and there (they sure love the house when it's humid - stay underground where it's cool, dumbasses!) but when there are lines like that, that's where I draw, well, the line. Which isn't a suggestion, and for that, I apologize.

Anonymous said...

We actually pay a guy to come out once a quarter to spray. I hate it, but it's necessary. I think our house was built on a fire ant hill.

fingers said...

Get an anteater; they're adorable pets...

Cormac Brown said...

Spraying bleach (mixed with water) around an area will dissuade them for hours, until the scent wears out. But the only way to get rid of them is Grant's Ant Stakes and from the sound of your post, you'll need just two boxes.

Harry said...

There has been recently a Thunderdome-esque competition taking place under my kitchen sink wherein as near as I can tell, ants pit prized cockroaches against one another. It is unclear whether the emphasis is on speed, agility, or might but there does appear to be wagering and the losers are summarily dismantled and carted off on an alternating current of worker ants.