Friday, January 23, 2009


Rotting on the Vine

That's what I feel like I'm doing tonight. I haven't had any excitement in my life for so long, I probably wouldn't even recognize it if it bit me on the ass. Hubby can't seem to stay up past 8 o'clock, most nights, while I, on the other hand, can't even consider going to bed until at least 11. So I wander around the house for three hours, feeling disgruntled and frustrated. We go out to eat maybe twice a year, on my birthday and Valentine's day. Maybe a movie, you say? Surely you jest! And it seems like a lifetime ago since we went dancing. Oh fucking well! I can entertain myself, goddamn it! The Internet is helpful in that regard. I enjoy reading your blogs. Googling random names and ideas keeps me busy for short intervals. Sometimes, if I have enough caffeine still circulating in my bothered brain, I make lists of things I should do "tomorrow." The list gets buried in the festering mass of papers piled on my desk, and has virtually no chance of ever having anything crossed off, but making the list gives me a fleeting sense of accomplishment. The various lists always include something about writing.

e.g. MAKE OUTLINE OF LIFE FOR USE IN WRITING AUTOBIOGRAPHY

or WRITE SHORT STORY ABOUT INFIDELITY

or DIG OUT ONE OF YOUR STUPID SHORT STORIES AND SEND SOMEPLACE

or FINISH THAT GODDAMNED POEM YOU STARTED A MONTH AGO

It just occured to me that I never include anything about posting on my blog. And yet, I do manage to do that at least two or three times a month. And...it doesn't feel like a chore. I actually ENJOY tapping out my little unplanned ephemereal messages.

GOOD LORD! Maybe the secret to success (however one may define "success") is to just DO something, without TELLING YOURSELF TO DO IT! Ooooohhh...I'm getting dizzy....


11 comments:

Bill Stankus said...

Hey!

So that's where you've been... At the Pits. You are creative and funny and rude and all the other fine cool stuff. Do it, write it, blog it or not. How about before you censored your own blog - anything there?

Then again Fantasy will will set you free. C'mon now, you are Z. That's Omega to some of us.

fingers said...

For the love of god please write that autobiography.
I can't be the only person dying to know which two restaurants you went to last year...

breezmister said...

Been there, done it, you are alone and don't even know it.....My ex would go to bed early and I would be up late,yep, even wrote a few poems myself, out line my own autobi.....Still have those blank pages before me (LOL)
Not that I want to put a thought in your pretty red head, but I moved on 9 years ago and I am so much happier now.
Now the wind is at my back

Connor said...

You will, of course include the part about our weekend in Havana in your autobiography...right?? ;)

Madam Z said...

Bill: Sigh. I had such fun writing the "naughty" stuff in my "Z-rated" posts. Too bad it got discovered by my brother-in-law, forcing me to banish it to the netherworld.

fingers: Okay, okay! I'll give you a hint: one of them had something to do with chiming tacos, and the other one was founded by someone named Ray Croc.

breezmister: Food for thought. I think I feel an imaginary breeze behind me...

Connor: Does this mean I have your permission to include it? I hope so, because you have stirred up some delightful memories and I can hardly wait to immortalize them.

Spartacus said...

GOOD LORD! Maybe the secret to success (however one may define "success") is to just DO something, without TELLING YOURSELF TO DO IT! Ooooohhh...I'm getting dizzy....

You should really listen to yourself more often, put on that blue dress or those blue jeans, and head out the door without him. I'm sure your husband won't mind and, if he's asleep, he probably won't know. ;)

dick said...

I find that 3 - 4 hour period between spouse slumber and own retreat to bed really useful. With kid and job juggling going on all day, it's blog time. Writing, posting and doing the rounds takes all of that brief time, and more, if I settle for 5 hours sleep rather than 6 (if I'm lucky.) This is a great blog. Forget the lists and organise your bloggery for those golden hours!

Dick - http://patteran.typepad.com

Ms Smack said...

Same here. I have all of these unfinished projects and I hate that I can't be fucked finishing them.

Captain Smack said...

Hmmm...

Hubby doesn't sound all that motivated, does he?

"or WRITE SHORT STORY ABOUT INFIDELITY"

I'm thinking maybe you should "write" that story, and make sure he "reads" it. I'm not a big fan of mind games, but a nice, hot injection of jealousy might just wake the guy up.

And who the hell goes to bed at 8 o'clock, anyway? What is he, a Quaker? I say hire a pool boy.

Distributorcap said...

meet the great proscratinator.....

i vote sleep

Madam Z said...

Spartacus: Hmmmm...Zelda with the blue dress, blue dress on... Okay, I'm heading out the door!

Dick: Yeah, the blogging occupies much of that time.

Ms Smack: "I hate that I can't be fucked finishing them." I don't understand this, Smackie. If you could be fucked while finishing them, it would make the tasks more enjoyable!

Captain: Oooohhh, I would SO like to "hire a pool boy." Do I have to have a pool first? Would a puddle do?

Distributorcap: Ahhh, sleep. Perchance to dream? To dream of my pool boy?