Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Earth vs. Moon


I'd much rather live on the Earth than the moon. Sure, the moon looks pretty from a distance, especially when it's full, like tonight, but up close, it's just a big, ugly rock. Of course, the Earth has some big, ugly places too, like the Bronx and most of Afghanistan, but it has a lot of really pretty places too. Especially in the Spring, in my back yard. In fact, my back yard is pretty for nine months of the year - Spring through Autumn. Winter sucks, but even when it's ickky Winter up here in the northern hemisphere, it's Summer down in the southern half of good old Earth. On the far side of the moon, it's always winter, cold and dark.
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Here on Earth, the best things in life are free - flowers, butterflies, blue skies, sunshine, love and sex (if you're lucky). On the moon, you'd have to pay a hell of a lot to import most of that, and it wouldn't last long, with no atmosphere. Atmosphere is especially important for good sex. On Earth, moonlight provides some good atmosphere, but on the moon, you'd be either in the too-bright sunlight or total darkness. Also, you'd be confined to those bulky spacesuits and helmets, which would be a real downer, if you know what I mean.
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There would be some advantages to moon life, the absence of talk radio and drivers-yakking-on-cell-phones, for instance. But for now, I'm staying right here, enjoying the lovely light of the full moon from a safe distance.

4 comments:

Will said...

You Earthlings are so geocentric ...

Gorilla Bananas said...

Quite right, Madam Z. The moon is OK for a holiday but a terrible place to settle in. It might be a good place to masturbate, though.

Jodi MacArthur said...

Alright. You win. No Goddess on the moon for now. Goddess of the backyard with all those birds and bees and flowers and the trees and skies up above and the thing called love...(what song is that) and a good cup of coffee suonds lovely to me. ;-)

Jodi MacArthur said...

Alright. You win. No Goddess on the moon for now. Goddess of the backyard with all those birds and bees and flowers and the trees and skies up above and the thing called love...(what song is that) and a good cup of coffee suonds lovely to me. ;-)