Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Hoo-boy! Now that I know someone may actually READ what I'm writing, I am gripped with fear. What if Big Brother should get wind of my wind? What if my children stumble across my sordid soliloquies? What if my friends find out about my fuck-filled fantasies? Yeah? So? And what if a comet falls out of the sky and sends the earth to hell in a handbasket? I will no longer concern myself with such unlikely events. I'm just going to let 'er rip.

Wait a minute! What's that great big rocky thing hurtling through the sk...


KELSO'S NUTS said...

As your brother I feel obligated to addresss these fears.

(1) BIG BROTHER. Once you signed up for a blogger account and probably the day you got your first internet access Big Brother's been watching you. As a cultural collective, the bloggers and posters who express radical ideas, skepticism, pacifism, bellicose anti-warism, lust, profundities, or pictures of their cats ARE a big problem for big brother. As one of 50,000,000 madam z (unless she drives a Ferrari which an FBI agent would like to drive himself) is in no personal danger.

(2) YOUR CHILDREN. If they are very young they won't even understand. If they sort of understand, it will make for a robust, heathful, and life-affirming mother-and-child conversation if handled in an appropriate way. If they are teens or older, you have no problem. They'll be proud of you. Eminem has a nice rap about this, the cleverest phrase of which is "...they have the Discovery Channel, don't they?"

(3) FRIENDS-FINDING-OUT-ABOUT-FUCK-FILLED-FANTASIES. If YOU (madam z) can't post such things for fear of disapproval from friends you've discovered two important things: (1)your modem is useless to you and(2) they aren't your friends. No matter how twisted you think your sexual fantasies are, they are less twisted than those of the person in the house next door. Take that to the bank and borrow against it. The only reason any friend of yours might give you are hard time is because he or she is jealous that you're bold enough to do it.

You'll encounter some brilliant people along the way, some pure assholes, you'll learn stuff and teach stuff. And be amazed at how many -- yes even Americans -- are just like you.

When the first rumblings of something called Whitewater started, a terrible downhill slide into a 1984/A CLOCKWORK ORANGE world began in the States. It is not likely that it has reached the apex yet. You're already in for a penny whether you like it or not, so why not get ALL your chips into the pot and enjoy yourself?

Somebody -- gosh, I just can't remember who (ha ha) -- once wrote: " have nothing to lose but your chains."

Madam Z said...

kelso's are not only my "brother," but my new best friend! Your comments are profound as well as reassuring.

Okay! I am now going to blog soon as I think of something to say.

BTW, is it "kelso's nuts" as in kelso owns some nuts? Or "kelso's nuts" as in kelso is nuts. Or something else?

KELSO'S NUTS said...

As to my blog name, I have to give myself credit for a very good pun. There was an expression of long ago "deader than KELSEY'S NUTS..." I liked that but decided I could do better. One of the great racehorses of the 1950s was KELSO, who happened to be a gelding -- he had no nuts! So, going back to the original phrase, if something were deader than KELSO'S NUTS it was double-plus dead. As I was always planning to express myself fearlessly, I knew that most people would think I was crazy, therefore "Kelso's NUTS". Finally, in poker an unbeatable hand is known as THE NUTS.

Madam Z said...

Whoa! A multi-faceted pun! Poor Kelso. He was, no doubt, hung like a horse, but it did him no good.

Mathman6293 said...

Years before 9-11 and all the obvious governmental spying I also felt that the government could get what ever info they wanted so I did not worry about it too much.

With my blog I could potentially piss off colleagues and superiors but so what. If a few read my writing then that's ok.