Monday, October 01, 2007

My font is blue and so am I. Hubby and I just fight and fight over the STUPIDEST things. He prods me with incendiary remarks and I TRY to keep my temper under control, but he picks and picks until I blow. Then he has the satisfaction of thinking that the whole problem is because I am insane, nuts, neurotic or whatever his adjective du jour is. I hate to fight! He loves to fight! Fuck it!

I ended up getting in the car and driving away, not knowing where I was going. But I was afraid I'd have a wreck, if I kept on driving in that condition (DWI - Driving While Insane), so I just pulled over to the curb and sat there for an hour. Now I'm home and don't know what to do.

8 comments:

KELSO'S NUTS said...

Get over the political and personal quarrels but getting him into pro boxing. A couple of great fights this past weekend and a few big ones coming up.

Good, wholesome outlet for venom and rage. But also a SPORT with a lot of fascinating elements.

I'm a not the best advisor on the subject because I'm 2x divorced but there's obviously some glue keeping you together. I don't know how about this as a compromise: if he stops picking fights with you, you won't hassle him about voting Republican or insist on "communicating". I have no idea whether or not you do that, but I've kind of gone native so at this point I basically assume all American women go in for that.

Velly, velly hard to be with someone a long time and not fight. I hate hassles so much, I had to leave but that's me. I stuck around awhile, until the hassles became a permanent feature and then I split.

Miss Smack said...

I hope you're feeling better soon. If this continues though, the stress isn't good for you. Can you sit down and tell him how much it affects you?

Guys can be as dumb as labradors. They need to be told, repeatedly, ad nauseam.

Madam Z said...

Kelso: Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments. I'm desperate enough at this stage to actually consider the boxing idea. Wouldn't that be great if he could vent his "venom and rage" vicareously like that!
I never "hassle him about voting Republican," but I guess I do try to get him to "communicate" his "true feelings." Hm. Food for thought. I'll give both of your suggestions a shot.

Miss Smack: I am feeling better, thank you. And you're right about the stress, but he doesn't understand, even though I have tried to tell him.
Thank you for your encouraging words. (P.S. I sure miss your blog...)

Miss Smack said...

aw, thanks Madame Z. I have had moments where I've thought to open it up again, but the timing isn't good at the moment.

I've had an amazing amount of emails encouraging me to make it private which I'm still considering, but either way, I'll let you know where it goes, ok?

Take care
Smack

DCup said...

I hope writing about it helped. I know I have to do something when I'm in that state (whatever whie insane).

I've gone for the dramatic and it blows up in my face. And I'm learning that when "they" are that state, it's best to just walk away.

Sometimes I'd like to keep on walking.....'course, I'm sure MathMan sometimes wishes I would, too.

Mathman6293 said...

It seems to me that just a few weeks ago I did the same. I can't recall what pissed me off but I got in my car and drove about 4 miles bought a dr pepper and came home.

Madam Z said...

dcup and mathman:

Thank you for your comments. It is helpful to be reminded that I am not the only one with these problems. (Of course, I know that intellectually, but emotions cloud reason.)

Walking away, driving away...it helps to activate the cooldown process. Next time I'll definitely try the Dr. Pepper as well. :)

Miss Smack said...

hi Kelso!